Project Whore: Interview #13

1. What are your thoughts on prostitution?
I don’t really know. It just is. Its a need I guess for some. I think its a bit of a dangerous job perhaps. I think it also gets glamourised in the movies. I think the reality is quite different from the image. But I think for some its also a conscious decision, a lifestyle choice, and some would even describe it as a calling.

2. Have you slept with a sex worker before?

Yes

3. Why or why not?

The first time I got dragged in there by an acquaintance and practically told I needed it. We didn’t have sex but ended up talking for an hour. Then he told me I was a woos and so kind of pressured me to go back and do it “properly”. It seemed like she was doing everything to make the experience as disconnected as possible. It was really quite a cold weird and uncomfortable experience. 

I did go once again because I guess I just wanted to have sex. And I had broken up with a girlfriend and hurt her badly and I feel sometimes sex complicates relationships and people get attached so I just wanted to have sex with someone who wouldn’t. That was a rather horrid experience too. 

After that I went a few times to some different people that specialised in certain fetishes that I became interested in. I guess I found it hard finding someone who was into them. And wanted a detached experience. Again the experiences were quite different than my expectations but I guess I enjoyed them to some degree. They didn’t involve sexual intercourse. 

4. What does the word ‘whore’ mean to you?

Well its generally a derogatory term. Mind you a lot of words can be used in various ways with various tones. Sometimes people almost say it as a term of endearment to a friend. But for the most part it is a very derogatory term used to describe someone who sells themselves for sex, or sells their body, or used to describe someone who is particularly promiscuous.

5. Do you believe in monogamy?

I think it depends on the person you are with. Yes and no. I believe you an chose monogamy, but its up to you both to communicate what you want out of a relationship. Sometimes monogamy can work. Sometimes I guess its nice to be in a relationship where you have a bit more freedom, but sometimes that can bring about more problems than its worth. Or sometimes one person agrees to an open relationship because they desperately want to be with that person and although they really want monogamy with that person, maybe the person doesn’t want monogamy with them. Relationships are complicated and can take on many and various forms. 

6. Have you been solicited to, by a sex worker in the street? Male or female?

Yes I think probably both. If they were male it would have been transexual or transgender. I have never been with a prostitute though that works the street. I have only been to an escort agency or establishment of some sort. 

7. Do you think sex work is a choice?

Yes and no. For some people it is. Ultimately everything is a choice. But I think for some people they don’t have awareness of choice or they don’t have the choice to get out of it. However, having said that in other countries possibly even in NZ there are women who are sold into it, bought into it, forced into it, bullied into it, beaten into it and it isn’t much of a choice for them. I think it depends on the individual. I certainly think that side of prostitution is both immoral and illegal and needs to stop. But there are sex workers who enjoy what they do and almost find what they do a calling for them. 

8. Are you heterosexual, bisexual or gay?

I would say for the most part heterosexual. If there is a sliding scale probably 99.97%. But i have had the odd moment in my life where I have felt an attraction to a guy. I have never followed through on it though. And I don’t think I particularly ever will because I think it would potentially complicate things for me lol. Don’t really want to open that can of worms. 

9. Are you tempted to pay for sex – if you wanted to experiment?

Yes that’s been most of the reasons why I have. Sometimes I think going to see someone who does this kind go thing for a living, particularly if it is a lifestyle choice for them and it is a conscious decision for them, then I don’t see anything wrong with it. Sometimes it can be better because there is no sense of attachment after and noone hopefully gets hurt because you are both on the same page. You both know what you are there for. 

10. Lastly, do you judge others who visit sex workers regularly?

I try not to judge people at all. I don’t really know anyone who does if they do. It depends I guess on their intentions, motives, reasons. It depends on the situation. Even then I’d like to think I wouldn’t judge the person but their actions and would be curious as to why they were that way.

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