LOVE Questionnaire #9

1. What is LOVE (in your opinion)?

Love is personal.

It’s a blanket, and a blind-fold, and swiss-army knife of emotion.

2. Do you believe in love?

Yes.

3. What are your dreams re above?

To be requited.

4. Who was your (childhood) sweetheart?

I didn’t really find out I liked boys until quite a while after my peers. My first kiss was at 14, and it definitely wasn’t with who I’d like to classify as my ‘childhood sweetheart’. I may have entirely missed the boat on getting one, actually. The closest thing I had was my best friend of several years – a boy. It was never a romantic thing, but I think having somebody there to grow with you and experience life with and back you up, always and regardless, is very much a love-filled experience. I think sometimes labels ruin things.

5. When did you first feel butterflies in your tummy?

In intermediate, I was a huge tomboy. Somehow I managed to attract a bunch of the more edgy/nerdy boys, though, and ended up being subject to numerous Chinese whisper games whereby I found out some boy or another liked me. At camp, in year eight, one of those young men plucked the courage to ask for my hand to hold. We ended up going out for about two weeks. He told me I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, and I felt butterflies. It was that bizarre realisation that other people can see something in you and it can be pure and unadultered and just so magical.

6. Were you ever besotted with anyone? Why and for how long?

Ash Stymest. He’s a skinny foul-mouthed British model plastered in tattoos. Unbeknownst to him, he had my entire heart for about a year and a half.

7. What has changed for you now (present day) with the word ‘love’?

I spent a long time mulling in misanthropy in my teenage years. I also fell into solipsism, and then later into nihilism.

Essentially, I wanted to think it didn’t exist. I’d seen marriages of my parents and several friends disintegrate, and read the poetry of Bukowski. I think I misinterpreted it all, however. One day I woke up and realised that if we were to completely abandon the notion, we’d lose much of what we live for. Love doesn’t need be between two people; love exists everywhere, in every shape and in every form. Hurt is its absence. But then again, I’ve been known to be an idealist.

8. Have your ever written love poetry? Or love notes?

Multiple times, but only ever for one man.

9. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Shakespeare has never really taken my fancy. However, I think Romeo and Juliet gives a better representation of love than any Disney princess tale.

I believe in love. I don’t want to deny its possibility of happening at ‘first sight’ – but such a thing I believe would require a lot more to be true than our aesthetically-possessed society currently has. It’d be a merging of the souls, so to speak (lamely), and not a modern, “Dang, she’s hot. Would wife/10.”

10. What is the most (important) lesson you have learnt through your life, when it comes to love? Please be specific:)
You need other people.

You need to forgive.

You need to love yourself before you can love another. To entertain the latter before ensuring the former, you’re a colander. You can never grasp the thing you want to dearly, because the holes are in you, and external ‘love’ will continue to drain on through. Those holes can only be repaired with introspection – and that’s one of the scariest things for people these days.

You don’t need the damn new car, you need love. And only you can both give and get it.

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