LOVE Questionnaire #8

1. What is LOVE (in your opinion)?

To me it is feeling like your heart is between your teeth, and sometimes in your groin. I think love is the fear of being left behind. It’s feeling like there is always the threat of being left.

2. Do you believe in love?

I do.

3. What are your dreams re above?

My dream of love is someone I continue to be challenged and stimulated by, sexually and intellectually. It’s also about kindness, and support.

4. Who was your (childhood) sweetheart?

Felix. When I was under 5.

5. When did you first feel butterflies in your tummy?

Probably when I got asked to the Standard Four social, when I was ten.

6. Were you ever besotted with anyone? Why and for how long?

Yes -A Christian boy who was in his early twenties when I was still at high school. I took him to my seventh form ball. He was the only male I knew who was enthusiastic, funny and capable of conversation. And he was a brilliant dancer, and an actor. I was nuts about him for two years – I think we only kissed once, and then I gave him a hand-job. He told me afterwards that I shouldn’t have done that, and that he had a problem with lust. I tried to devote my life to Jesus for him. I think he’s a youth pastor now.

I was also engaged when I was 22 for three years. I was pretty besotted with him. Because he was extroverted, kind, had exquisite taste, loved lavishing me with gifts, had curly hair and this tiny beautiful body. He was always the life of the party, but was also the most sweet and loving thing. He left me when I was 25. That changed my opinion of love.

7. What has changed for you now (present day) with the word ‘love’?

I think it is feeling like there is risk, of not having all the power, but also I have a deep knowledge that love has to be with someone that can keep challenging you in the ways that matter to YOU, not to your family, or to other people. Now, I am in love with a woman for the first time, who is younger than me, and I feel the need for my love to be a patient love, and a generous love, both in its time and energy for problems.

8. Have your ever written love poetry? Or love notes?

Yes. I write a lot of poetry. I have written poems to almost all of my serious partners.

9. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Maybe not ‘sight’, but sometimes ‘touch’ for me. I’m extremely tactile. I think beautiful things can come from physical connections, but its not a sustainable base for a love that will give you the things you want in life in the long term.

10. What is the most (important) lesson you have learnt through your life, when it comes to love? Please be specific:)

To continue to be clear about what I want from my life, and to accept responsibility for my own happiness. Also that love is this feeling that changes, and its okay to move away from it and towards it.

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